


We May Fall in Love Every Time We Open Up Our Eyes

by sorta_sirius_black, timeandteacups



Series: Astronomy in Reverse [1]
Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013), Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Autism, Bottom Nigel, Collaboration, Cum Fetish (kinda?), Established Relationship, Fetish probably isn't the right word but fuck it, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Hypersensitivity, Love Confessions, M/M, Morning Sex, Nigel loves Adam so much it's gross, Past Relationship(s), Texture Issues, They're so cute it's gross, Top Adam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 21:34:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6676213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorta_sirius_black/pseuds/sorta_sirius_black, https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeandteacups/pseuds/timeandteacups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New sensations, new forms of stimulation, are things that Adam has always tried to avoid. Nigel, however, is more than willing to work around that. </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>  <i>He refrained. Instead, he turned his head and kissed a spot right behind Adam's ear. “I love you, baby. I fucking love you, just… fuck, Sparrow. Please,” Nigel begged. He never begged. Except that he did, for Adam. </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>Love. </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>Nigel hadn't said that before. </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>Confessions of love, real or not real, were extremely common mid and post-coitus. And Nigel was desperate, that much Adam could tell. How could it possibly be real? How could he possibly mean it? It might not have been a lie, and Adam may have had a tendency to take things at face value, but he was logical enough to know…</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>He didn't care. He believed him when he said it. </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	We May Fall in Love Every Time We Open Up Our Eyes

Waking up next to Adam was becoming Nigel's favorite thing in the world. Especially on days Adam didn't need to go to work, and Nigel could wrap his limbs around him and not let him out of bed for hours after they woke up. He liked to bury his face in Adam's neck and breathe him in while he listened to the man talk about space or anything else Adam felt like talking about - all Nigel truly wanted was to listen to his voice, and he was always amazed at how brilliant Adam was. Listening to Adam speak made him happy. 

But those mornings… They were the main reason why Nigel liked to sleep at Adam's place. They always shared a bed, and Nigel found out that sleeping with Adam in his arms made him feel calm and comfortable, and that he slept more peacefully with the man than he ever had before. Nigel cuddled closer to him, his arms tightening around Adam’s body as he sighed and closed his eyes again, waiting for Adam to wake up. 

Adam always liked when Nigel stayed over. He liked the warmth of his body sleeping next to him, liked the way that he would sprawl out spread-eagle and practically engulfed him, the man being larger and heavier and just enough to squeeze him but not hurt him. He liked the way that his lips felt against his neck in the morning before he woke up, the way his breath tickled his ears, the sound and the feeling being almost too wonderful, always making him want to lean over and press a kiss into his mouth and hold him tight, never letting go. 

They'd been together for months now. Three months, almost. Since they had first become romantically involved after a night in the park under the twinkling stars, Nigel had spent the night 51 times in those three months. They'd been together for 92 nights, and 51 of them had been spent tangled in a heap on the bed, curled together. The other 41 had only been spent apart for few reasons. At times, Adam would ask for space, or Nigel himself would believe he was being too clingy, or Nigel just simply away on business... But the remaining 51 nights… They were his favorites. 

Occasionally Nigel would wake up with morning wood pressed against Adam's thigh, and once or twice Adam had walked in on Nigel while he was masturbating, (and vice versa). Sometimes they'd shower together, but it was never in a sexual manner, rather that they didn't have the time (mostly from spending the morning kissing until they were both running late).

Neither of them said much about any of it, it just didn't seem important. They hadn't had sex yet, though Adam knew it would have to come eventually.

He didn't know why, but in porn, the smaller man always was the one being penetrated. Adam was thinner. Not much shorter. The length of his penis - _cock, Nigel said to call it cock, penis was too formal_ \- was about the same. Nigel was a little thicker, but otherwise… Perhaps it was the way that Adam carried himself. He knew, though, what would probably be expected of him. And maybe it was the pain, maybe it was because Nigel would be the first man he'd ever been with, maybe it was just the idea of a new sensation that he'd never felt before… But the idea sent ripples of dread through him. 

Noticing a slight movement from Adam, Nigel opened his eyes again to look at him, to check if he was awake. In those three months - the best three months of his life - Nigel had spent most of his nights with Adam. He’d grown used to feeling the younger man waking up in his arms, grown to love it. What Nigel loved the most was to pull Adam as close to him as possible and kiss him until Adam pulled away, saying he was going to be late for work. Nigel liked their days off better, there was no reason to interrupt their kissing then. Today was one of those amazing days. 

“Sparrow?” Nigel whispered, just in case Adam wasn't fully awake yet. Today, he hoped he and Adam could stay in bed all morning, with lazy kisses and sweet words and soft touches. 

Adam stirred at his quiet words, the familiar nickname being enough to bring a small smile to his lips. Familiarity. Sweetness that only Adam seemed to be able to spark from Nigel. Letting out a soft sound, something similar to that of a cat, he leaned back into the older man as Nigel pressed his lips, those familiar, unmistakable lips, against the back of his ear. 

“Good morning, Nigel.” Adam yawned. Normally, he would've been in more of a rush to get to work, but there was no need to hurry today. They could stay in bed. Kiss. Cuddle. Do whatever they liked. They could spend the day together without need for rigid structure or routine and just relax. Adam liked routine and order, liked the structure that work gave him. Wake up at 7:00. Shower at 7:15, 7:20 if he and Nigel spent a bit too long. Eat breakfast at 7:30. Be out the door by 7:45. Arrive at work at 8:00. Work independently in research until 11:00. Help with the tour from 11:00 to 11:15 (one of the more challenging tasks on some days, but oftentimes rewarding). Go to the nearby park with the food that Nigel had packed him, occasionally meeting up with him but not always, at 11:30. And then go back to work at 12:00 until 6:00. Then he went home to his macaroni and cheese and his space books and his Nigel. But today… Today he got to spend his day in with nothing but his macaroni and cheese and his space books and his Nigel. 

“Good morning, darling,” Nigel smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Adam's neck. It made Adam shiver slightly, and he loved it. He was so beautiful Nigel could spend the whole day looking at him. He touched Adam's chin, gently turned his head and kissed his lips softly. He liked to start slow with Adam and then slowly sliding his tongue into his mouth, kiss him harder, tease him with his lips, tongue and teeth. 

“Waking up next to you makes me so fucking happy,” Nigel muttered against Adam's lips. “It's the best thing in the fucking world.” He deepened the kiss, fingertips caressing Adam's jaw and slowly moving down to his neck. 

Adam let out a soft hum, unsure of what to say and not needing words anyways, as Nigel’s lips trailed slowly down, pressing against his collarbone, over his shoulder. Nigel rolled on top of him, pinning him to the bed, but not so tightly that he couldn't get up if he wanted to. Nigel’s presence over him felt something like his weighted blanket, only heavier and warmer and alive and _better_ So much better. Always so much better. 

Ever since he'd moved to California and met Nigel, his life had turned into just that. So much better. Meltdowns were almost nonexistent because Nigel never pushed him to the breaking point. Nigel always let him talk about space and his work and everything else and he never got bored, never asked him to stop. Whenever Adam became aware of his rambling and asked Nigel if he wanted him to stop, Nigel always begged him to continue. He told him that no sparrow should ever be forced into silence, and that he'd “punch the fucking throats” of anyone who said otherwise. Nigel had slowly become part of his routine, and nothing could've been better. 

He could feel Nigel’s penis - _cock_ \- through his boxers, horribly inadequate at hiding his erection as it pressed against Adam’s thigh, Nigel’s hips giving the occasional small thrust as he kissed the younger man, lips slowly trailing down every inch of his exposed skin. He lay back, melting into every touch, his mind calming down beneath it, drowning everything else out. All that was left was Nigel. Nigel. 

He had woken up half hard as it was, but Nigel’s small movements, the way that he was sprawled over him and kissing him like he was holy, the most sacred thing in the universe… 

“Nigel…” Adam muttered, somewhere between a whine and a groan. “You're very… You're very hard, it's making me excited. Sexually.” It wasn't until Nigel pulled his head up and looked at him that Adam realized that that may have been the point.

Nigel groaned, grinding against Adam's thigh, the words making his cock twitch and get impossibly harder. In those three months he always respected the fact that Adam didn't seem to want to have sex, and he would wait even longer if Adam wanted him to, would never force him into it, but that didn't mean Nigel wasn't aching for it. Resting his forehead on Adam's shoulder, he closed his eyes and stopped moving completely, breathing deeply to try and calm himself. 

Adam always moved away before Nigel would even have the opportunity to touch him, but now he was there, letting Nigel know that he was getting aroused - something that Nigel had already realized of course, and he could just slide his hand down between their bodies and touch. Still, he would only do that with Adam's permission. 

“Do you want to have sex with me, Sparrow?” he asked as he raised his head and looked into Adam's beautiful eyes. His fingers played with Adam's hair as Nigel waited patiently for his answer. He would let Adam decide, but if the answer was no, he'd probably have to take a trip to the shower to jerk off. 

“Mmm…” Adam hummed, making a small, almost fussy sound with frustration at his inability to express, to even really know what he wanted. There was something scary about the thought, but also something hopelessly exciting. He wanted it. He wanted to have every inch of Nigel, wanted to explore every inch of his body, to touch him rather than just look. The older man really was beautiful in a way that made him want to reach out and touch. He wanted to connect his many, many scars like constellations under his fingertips, wanted to feel his lips over every inch of him rather than just from the waist up, wanted to know what it felt to be so intricately woven with his lover. The idea was almost too much for him to take and it made his cock twitch just a bit.

But at the same time, the fear and the doubt in the back of it mind buzzed louder at the idea, telling him not to ruin the moment. The relationship. 

It seemed that there’d be too much pain. Nigel was big, and the idea of having him inside of him… It sounded painful. Having something shoved somewhere where things weren’t really meant to be shoved. And even if it wasn’t painful, he’d never had his prostate stimulated before and had no idea what to expect. New sensations had never been something that he particularly looked forward to. Besides, sex between men required copious amounts of lube, and the texture was unpleasant to say the least. And as much as he had enjoyed sex in the past, it was messy, and he didn’t really like it. The idea, while appealing in some aspects, sounded more like a pain, a bother, a meltdown-waiting-to-happen, than anything else. 

But at the same time… There was the idea of the two of them falling together into this bliss of pleasure for the both of them. Adam making Nigel feel good and Nigel making Adam feel good... It was enough to make his stomach flip, enough to make his chest flutter, enough to make his head spin. To think of feeling every inch of Nigel, of being able to reach out and touch him without restraint, just taking him in... It was enough to make him so hard that it hurt. He wanted to reach down and try to relieve some of the strain. 

“I’ve… I do. But… I’ve… Never been penetrated by a man before, and I… I don’t know if I’d like it, and I’m kind of afraid, but I want to make you happy, and I want to feel good too, but I… I just…” Adam stuttered, stumbling over his words, not quite sure how to get everything he was feeling into English rather than just the abstract thoughts and emotions he had right then. Sometimes, when he was nervous or excited, his head would start to spin with these thoughts and he could never get out what he really wanted to say, which was why he talked so fast most of the time. His mouth couldn’t keep up. All he knew for certain was that he desperately wanted Nigel, but just wasn’t sure how. 

“But we don't have to-- fuck, Sparrow, why didn't you tell me this before?” Nigel asked. Though he tried hiding the fact, he was a bit frustrated. It wasn't Adam's fault, but Nigel wished the man had just asked. They could have been having sex for a long time now if Adam had said something instead of running from him every time Nigel tried to make his touches any more intimate.

“I don't have to fuck you if you don't want me to, darling. There are other ways we can do this,” Nigel reassured him, his fingers tangled in Adam's hair now. At this point, he would have Adam in any way he’d let him - blowjobs, handjobs, just rubbing their cocks together, anything. He just needed Adam to say yes. “I can suck you off, I can… fuck, I can bottom for you if you want, Sparrow. I want you so fucking much I'd be happy to do it any way you wanted. You just have to say the word.”

Adam’s eyes went wide. That was… Unexpected. He just assumed that Nigel, the predator he was, dominant and strong and powerful, would’ve wanted to penetrate him. Adam was the first man that Nigel had really been with. So he just assumed… He’d seen the porn on Nigel’s laptop. It didn’t annoy or anger him at all - just made him nervous. The brutal onslaught of thrusts, the thought of someone overpowering him like that… Not even to mention the fact that he had no idea what to expect… It had been frightening.

But that wasn’t even what Nigel wanted to do. Not necessarily. They could bring each other pleasure without the pain, without the battering of his senses, without the new and frightening sensations of touching a place that had never been touched before… He didn’t have to be afraid. Nigel. His Nigel. The thought of being on top of his Nigel, penetrating him, neither of them really dominant or submissive, just together and happy and neither one of them afraid or hurt. Both of them feeling so… So… So good...

He felt jittery. 

Stomach flipping, heart racing, head spinning, cock twitching and painfully hard, he almost couldn’t contain himself, couldn’t think straight. Fear dissipated into excitement and anticipation. Nigel. His Nigel, his wonderful, selfless Nigel. In a single, swift movement, he rolled over on top of Nigel, straddling him as he pinned the larger man down to the bed and pressed a kiss against his mouth, kissing him with excitement and passion burning through every inch of him. Holding him down, Nigel smiling against his lips… He couldn’t think of anything better.

“Are you sure?” Adam inquired, pulling back slightly, though still close enough to feel Nigel’s breath against his face. 

“Yes I'm fucking sure, Sparrow,” Nigel tangled his fingers in Adam's hair and pulled him down for a kiss, a hungry, needy kiss, hoping that Adam would fuck him like that, on his back, so they could hold each other close and look into each other's eyes. “I want anything you want to give me. I want to fuck you too, but only when you're ready.”

Nigel didn't mind waiting. He wanted to be inside Adam, wanted it bad, but he would wait until Adam asked him for it. Adam's comfort and happiness were the most important thing to him, and that's all he wanted. He kissed Adam again, briefly this time, then moved to his neck, kissing and biting softly, sucking on the man's skin. He thought about having Adam in his mouth and it made him ache. Perhaps next time. 

Adam’s hands grasped at the sheets below them as Nigel’s lips and tongue and teeth worked quickly down his neck, fingers digging at his sides. It was a flurry, too fast and too much and absolutely mind numbing and wonderful and overwhelming at the same time. Adam buried his face in the crook of Nigel’s neck as a couple of fingers slipped down below his waistband, not touching him and not pulling his clothes off just yet. He was pressing kisses into his neck, short, fast little things. Adam found himself grinding against the older man, desperate for friction, for touch. 

_Touch._

He'd never been one for touch. Not really. He wasn't opposed to it; he just didn't like it very much. He always tensed up, and never knew when it was okay to let go or to start, never knew what was making them feel good, if at all. But now, all passion and excitement, it was what he craved. All he craved. 

“I'll have to… Um, get you ready. The rectum doesn't self lubricate and open like the vagina does, we'll have to use some. I have a bottle in the drawer- I bought it last month, just in case. We'll need to figure out what position to have sex in too, because Beth liked to be on her stomach because I don't always make eye-contact and it was less awkward that way so we could do it like that but you aren't Beth so you could be on your back and we could do it that way. I think I know how to make if feel okay, I learned a lot with Beth about how to make it feel good. I already know how to stimulate your prostate since it and the g-spot are similarly located, at least in terms of positioning, even though the prostate is a bit further inside, but I can still reach it…” Adam rambled as Nigel continued kissing and grinding into his thigh. 

Nigel smiled against Adam’s lips. He knew all that stuff. Still, somehow it felt good to hear Adam talk, to see that he was truly interested in it, even though he still felt jealous of the simple thought of Adam being with someone else. It had been some time, but there was still a tinge of it whenever Adam mentioned Beth. Adam was his now, and that past was long gone.

“I know, Sparrow… I fucking know how sex works,” he smiled again as he pressed more kisses to Adam’s lips, looking up at Adam in complete adoration. “And of course I want to fucking see your face. Or at least hold you close,” he smoothed his hands up Adam’s back again, the man’s skin warm and soft against his own. Nigel didn’t care what Beth liked, it seemed to him that she never appreciated Adam as much as she should have. She didn’t deserve Adam. Nigel didn’t deserve Adam either, but he was lucky enough that Adam liked him. Nigel loved Adam more than he had ever loved anyone or anything in his whole life. “Would you get us the lube?” he asked quietly, his lips brushing on Adam’s. “I can’t fucking wait for you to fuck me with your gorgeous fingers. Or push your hard cock into me.”

Adam felt a stab of arousal shoot straight to his cock at Nigel’s words. He made words that sounded so filthy sound so pretty, like music to his ears. Adam let out a small sound as he pulled away from Nigel, not completely off but far enough away that the air felt cool against his skin again. He leaned over toward the nightstand and pulled the drawer open, fishing around for the small bottle of lube that he'd bought a month before, when he first noticed that Nigel occasionally started to get a bit more touchy, more caresses in more sensitive places, never failing to arouse him. He'd bought it on a whim, but now he was glad. 

“I want to be inside of you too, Nigel. I want to… Know how it feels to be connected to you. On a physical level. How it feels to have you all around me.” Adam muttered as he plucked the lubricant out of the drawer. 

Adam shifted back toward Nigel, bottle of lube in hand. Part of him dreaded the feeling of it, despising texture of it. This was the boy who couldn't even wash his own hair properly until he was nearly ten because the texture of the shampoo was painfully unpleasant, after all. But as he pressed his lips against Nigel's again, though, and he found himself melting into him and forgetting all of the wildly running thoughts. 

He pulled away after a short moment and scooted between his lover’s legs, nudging them open and up so that he could settle. 

“Can I…?” Adam inquired, voice trailing as his fingers found his waistband. “Is it… Is it okay…?”

Nigel nearly moaned just by seeing Adam kneeling between his legs. “Fucking perfect, Sparrow,” he said breathlessly. It made his heart race to watch Adam pulling his boxers down and taking them off, his cock twitching and the man started down at his body. They had seen each other naked before, but nothing was as intense as _this._ Nigel wanted to touch and feel Adam everywhere, wanted to see him, hear him, he wanted everything. Right now, he was aching for Adam's touch.

“Touch me, gorgeous… fuck me,” he said, parting his legs even more for Adam. The man was so close to him it was getting hard to breathe.

Adam inhaled sharply, a finger grazing over the inside of his thigh. He was so beautiful, more beautiful than the night sky, more beautiful than anything that he had ever laid eyes on. He bit down on his lip for a second before smiling this big, stupid grin that he couldn’t even attempt to contain. 

He popped the cap off of the lube, hesitating for a single moment. Watching Nigel, laying there so beautifully spead out for him, like a work of art, more beautiful than anything that he had ever seen in his life… It distracted him from the texture, making it tolerable at least. 

He squeezed the lube over his fingers, cringing slightly. He inhaled sharply and grinded his teeth, forcing back the urge to wipe it off, before running his finger over his exposed hole, drawing a small gasp from Nigel. His lover let out a short curse under his breath, making Adam’s cock twitch from beneath the inadequate coverings of his sweatpants. Seeing Nigel melt beneath his touch made the awful feeling of the lube bearable.

Nigel was beautiful laid out like that. Hair messy and in his face, chest heaving, skin flushed and slick with the sweat already beginning to bead there. Adam circled the taut ring of muscle with his finger for a moment, listening to Nigel as he quietly sighed. 

“I just… I uh… Do I just… Push?” Adam inquired.

Nigel chuckled slightly and bore down, the first knuckle disappearing inside of him.

“Oh.” Adam whispered. “Um… Tell me if it hurts, okay?” 

Nigel groaned, pushing against Adam's finger again to take it in deeper, closing his eyes with the feeling. It had been way too long since he had bottomed for the last time, and it had never felt this good. This intense. He moaned silently as Adam started moving his finger, and couldn't wait for him to push another finger in, to have Adam's cock instead of just fingers, to feel full and stretched around him. 

“It won't hurt, darling,” Nigel said as he continued moving his hips to meet the thrusts of Adam's finger. “If done properly, and I'm relaxed, it doesn't hurt. It just feels… so fucking good,” he closed his eyes and pressed his head against the pillow, just the feeling of Adam's finger moving into him already felt incredibly good. “Try two fingers now, love.”

The tight warmth wrapped around Adam’s finger, making the texture far more bearable. He sat between his lover’s legs, cock hard and straining painfully as he worked him open, pressing into him and pulling out, thrusting in and out slowly. He could feel Nigel’s body opening up to him, and his soft groans and requests edged him on. So he followed, drizzling a bit more of the lube onto his finger before sliding a second one in, provoking a loud gasp and a quiet curse from Nigel. 

Adam kept a slow, steady pace, working him open carefully. If he had it his way, he might thrust in harder, faster, open him faster so that he could sink into him sooner. But he didn't want to run this risk of hurting Nigel, not after he offered himself like this, offered himself to be taken because Adam was too afraid to do the same. 

Adam inhaled quietly, having never seen a more beautiful sight, and the sounds that Nigel made, his soft sighs and moans were (as Nigel might put it) going straight to his cock, making him painfully hard, to a point where he was using his free hand to palm at his erection through his pants. 

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” Adam inquired as he continued fingering him, scissoring him open. Nigel just shook his head, cock hard and leaking against his stomach. Laid out so beautifully. Like a work of art. “You’re… Beautiful. Like this.” Adam praised quietly.

It took a few moments to find where it was, but after a couple of minutes of stretching him open and not really trying to do much else, he curled his fingers and rubbed. 

“Fuck,” Nigel moaned and his hands gripped the sheets, tugging at them as he arched his back. It felt good. That was precisely the reason why he liked bottoming. Even though Adam had never done that before, he seemed to know exactly where to touch. Nigel closed his eyes, letting himself drown in the all-consuming pleasure Adam was giving him, his cock twitching and leaking with the movements of Adam's fingers. He needed more. Adam was too far away; Nigel needed to pull him into his arms and hold him close. 

“I'm… ready, Sparrow,” Nigel said, moaning loudly again as Adam put just a bit more pressure in his touch. “Fuck, darling, I need your cock inside me. Now.”

“Are you sure? I mean…” 

Nigel groaned as Adam struck his prostate again, his involuntary noises sounding like a beg. Adam exhaled and pulled away from him, slowly removing his fingers as Nigel made a small, almost whining sound at the loss of pressure, of heat, of touch. He slowly grazed his fingers over Nigel’s inner thigh, memorizing the strong muscle and sharp edges beneath his fingertips. He'd never had sex with a man before, but he could tell it wouldn't be quite like it had been with women. It wouldn't be long curves and quiet moans and soft edges. It would be taut muscles and loud groans and hard corners, especially with someone as strong and rough as Nigel. But Adam couldn't say that he minded. He wanted sex with Nigel more than anything at this point. All he wanted, all he could possibly want, was Nigel. 

Adam propped himself up on his knees and wiggled out of his sweatpants and underwear as quickly as he could, discarding his routine of folding them neatly and tossing them off of the bed. His cock stiff and erect, harder than perhaps he had ever been before. Nigel was lying below him, eyes watching his every movement as he grabbed the lube again, pouring it into his hand, trying to ignore the texture, and slicked himself with it, sighing at the relief of the touch. It felt so good, just rubbing his cock with Nigel laying there. He could've come from the visual alone, but he'd much rather be inside of Nigel when he did that. 

Adam leaned over Nigel. Didn't touch him yet, just hovered above him, looking him over, making eye contact. Normally, it made him endlessly uncomfortable. Eyes, always distracting. The idea of someone looking into your eyes and practically reading your mind and not being able to do it back, seeing nothing but irises and pupils and not being able to read what they were thinking, not seeing the soul behind those eyes…. It was oftentimes infuriating. But right then, it was like he could finally see what he was thinking, like things were becoming clear. _Nigel._

He pressed a small kiss against Nigel’s lips before reaching down between them and grabbing both of their cocks, jerking them together for just a moment, provoking small pants and moans from both of them, sweat beading at Nigel’s forehead as he reverently whispered that nickname again. Adam’s cock was just a bit longer than Nigel’s, but Nigel’s was thicker. Maybe someday it would feel good inside of him, after seeing how Nigel reacted to just fingers. Maybe Adam would let him inside of his body one day. Someday. Adam bit down on his lips, furrowed his brow, letting go of Nigel’s cock and lining his own up with the older man’s hole. 

And pushed. 

“Fuck, Adam-” Nigel groaned loudly, wrapping his legs around Adam's waist. Adam had just the tip of his cock inside him for now, but Nigel needed more. Tightening his legs around Adam, Nigel sank onto his cock, the whole length of it sliding into him in one smooth move. Adam gasped quietly as his eyes closed tightly, biting his lip, limbs trembling. Nigel wrapped his arms around him, holding Adam's warm body tightly in his embrace. He needed the proximity, the intimacy of it. 

Adam held completely still, the only movement being his heavy breathing. Nigel could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he held him in his arms, could feel Adam's breath against his neck. “Move, darling,” he whispered, his mouth close to Adam's ear, fingertips caressing his back softly. “Move, baby, let me feel you.”

Adam’s hands clutched Nigel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. His heart was slamming in his chest with his heaving breaths as he buried his face into the crook of Nigel’s neck. The tight heat consumed him, leaving him breathless, sinking in all the way to the hilt. He couldn’t focus, couldn’t think. _So good. So, so good._

His senses felt overwhelmed, completely overtaking him, leaving him breathless. His heart was pounding in his ears, muffling Nigel’s voice. He could feel every inch of Nigel pressed against him, arms wrapped tight around him, legs wrapped around his waist, nails digging into his flesh, his heaving chest falling in time with his own, the hammering of the older man’s heart pressing against his own, the soft vibrations of his voice…

It took him a moment to register Nigel’s command (or was it a request?) before he could process his words. _Move._ The very thought of moving felt impossible. There was just so _much._ So much stimulation, so much feeling… It was so much more intense than what it had ever been. More intense than what it had been whenever he masturbated, more intense than what it had been when he’d had sex with Beth, more intense than anything that he had ever experienced in his life. It wasn’t bad. It was perhaps the best feeling that he had ever experienced. But the thought of adding onto the already overwhelming sensations… 

This wasn’t anything new. Even when he had been with Beth, even when he was just masturbating, he was prone to coming extremely quickly. The way he processed stimulation, how overwhelming it became, he could never stave it off for very long. And this… This was so much more intense than anything else that he had ever experienced… 

Nigel ran a hand up and down his back, his calloused fingers drawing lines over his skin. He might’ve said something, but Adam couldn’t process it. He couldn’t quite register anything until Nigel wrapped his legs around him tighter, pulling him down, and let his muscles clench, hole tightening around Adam’s cock. Adam jerked forward and gasped, choking on his breath, before letting out a small whine. _So good. So good._

“I… I can’t move. I’ll… I’ll come.” He whispered as soon as he could collect his thoughts well enough to form words. 

“Shhh… it's okay, baby,” Nigel whispered, his fingers tangled in Adam's hair, his other hand caressing his back. “Breathe,” he suggested, his hand moving up and down Adam's back softly, smoothly. Soothing. Otherwise, he stayed completely still, giving Adam time to adjust to the new feeling. He knew that Adam would come really soon; that was to be expected, especially since it was the first time they were having sex. He did his best not to clench around Adam again; he just decided to give Adam some little time to calm down. 

“You feel so fucking good, Sparrow. So fucking big inside of me, I feel you everywhere, darling,” Nigel muttered against Adam's ear, his nails scratching his lover's back lightly, all the way up his spine. “You're so beautiful, so fucking perfect. I want you to come inside me, baby.” Just the thought of it made his cock twitch against Adam's belly and leak even more; Nigel had to hold himself back not to move, thrust up against Adam and fuck himself on Adam's cock at the same time. 

He refrained. Instead, he turned his head and kissed a spot right behind Adam's ear. “I love you, baby. I fucking love you, just… fuck, Sparrow. Please,” Nigel begged. He never begged. Except that he did, for Adam. 

_Love._

Nigel hadn't said that before. 

Confessions of love, real or not real, were extremely common mid and post-coitus. And Nigel was desperate, that much Adam could tell. How could it possibly be real? How could he possibly mean it? It might not have been a lie, and Adam may have had a tendency to take things at face value, but he was logical enough to know….

He didn't care. He believed him when he said it. 

He slid out of the tight, wonderful heat, slowly, slowly, slowly, unable to go any faster than that. Adam let out a small whine at the movement, and Nigel let out a small gasp below him. Adam bit down hard on his lower lip, trying to hold back. He could already feel himself getting so close, and all the filthy things Nigel had whispered weren't helping. He wanted to make this better for Nigel, make it last longer, so he bit his lip and held it back, ignoring the pounding of his heart and the tightness in his cock, and pressed back in, slowly, slowly, slowly. 

“Adam- _Ah, fuck,_ ” Nigel tried not to use his legs to pull Adam against him again, but he was aching for him, wanted him to thrust hard and deep into him, so hard it would make him scream. It was not the right time for that, though. Moaning, he pulled Adam for a kiss, messy and uncoordinated as Adam moved out and into him again. He bit Adam's bottom lip as he broke the kiss, feeling as Adam was slowly picking up a pace with his hips. “Fuck me, Sparrow, I want you so fucking much. I've wanted you for so long.”

If it were up to him, he would turn them over and ride Adam's cock fast and hard, but he knew that was already being overwhelming enough for Adam as it was. He wanted his sparrow to enjoy it as much as he could. His cock was pressed between their bodies, painfully hard and rubbing against Adam as they both moved now, still slowly, but together, and Nigel never wanted to let Adam go.

“You feel so good, Nigel… So warm… And tight… I… I feel you all around me… And… You feel so good. You make me feel so good...” Adam sputtered out, hardly able to form words as his thrusts picked up speed, still going relatively slow, but enough to get a bit of friction. 

His thrusts had started out pulling almost all the way out and pushing back in, but he quickly found himself making small, jerkier movements. Soon, he was only moving a bit, repeatedly sinking in as far as he could manage, the sensation rippling through him quickly, violently, wonderfully, making him see the stars with each thrust of his hips. 

Pleasure pulsing through him and he moved, he clung tighter to his Nigel. His lover’s fingers were running up and down his back, lips pressed against his neck, just below his ear, occasionally letting out a moan or sigh. Maybe someday, it'd be nice to hear Nigel scream. Really scream. Adam had never had rough sex before, but Nigel sure had. Adam wondered what it’d feel like to hear his name screamed at the top of his lover’s lungs. But right then, moving slowly together in a complementary rhythm, burning slowly together, all soft grunts and moans and whispered confessions… That was all he wanted. All he needed.

He never wanted it to end. 

He was so close, so painfully close, but he didn't want to come yet. He wanted to stay like this, inside of his Nigel, until the world ended, until the night sky turned black and the stars all went out. He wanted to stay with Nigel just like that forever. 

He needed to calm down. He did the one thing that always helped him focus, always helped him think. He talked. 

“You feel so… So tight and soft inside. You're… You're hard and calloused and scarred on the outside… But… So… So soft and warm on the inside… You feel so good, Nigel… And I feel like I know… Like I know what you're thinking… Now… And… And… You're very hard… And I can… Feel your penis - _cock_ \- against my stomach…. And… I want to feel you come… I don't like the texture but I like… I like the way you feel… But I don't… Don't want it to end… Want to stay like this forever… I'm so close, Nigel… _Nigel._ ” 

He let out a loud moan, unable to keep it back. 

“Nigel, tell me how… I make you feel. Please…” He whispered as he changed the angle of his hips, so he hit more directly against his prostate. He needed to hear him speak.

Nigel let out a loud groan as he felt Adam's cock rubbing against his prostate, his lips pressing against Adam's skin again to muffle his moans. He had been able to keep mostly quiet until now, but when his prostate was being massaged so deliciously it was almost impossible for him to stop the sounds that flowed uncontrollably from his mouth. It felt like heaven, to have Adam like that, and Nigel couldn't understand how he got so lucky. 

“You feel… so fucking big inside me,” he said, panting against Adam's neck. “So hard and warm, and big. I feel so… full. And you… you know exactly where to touch, Sparrow.” His voice was shaky, every thrust of Adam's hips made his voice falter, and at this point he was finding it difficult to even be coherent. “You're touching… everywhere. Everything. Next time… I want you in my mouth… so you'll come in my mouth, and I can swallow it all.”

Nigel used his legs to pull Adam harder and faster against him, knowing it wouldn't take long for both of them to come. “I want you to come inside me, baby, fuck, Adam, you make me feel so good,” he intentionally clenched around Adam and groaned against his skin. “Come inside me, Sparrow... Fill me up with your cum… you're so fucking good to me, baby…”

Adam let out a small, high-pitched whine through his stuttered thrusts, trying to hold back to the point where it was painful. He couldn’t keep this up. Not with Nigel saying those filthy, beautiful words.

Through overwhelmed, hypersensitive thoughts, one thought made its way through in clarity. He may not have had sex with a man before, but he was well aware of human anatomy, and knew how the human body worked during orgasm. He wanted to feel Nigel come first, wanted to be inside of Nigel when he orgasmed, and wanted that to be what pushed him over the edge. 

“You… You first, Nigel… Rectal muscles clench during orgasm and… I… I want to feel you… I want to feel that… I want to feel it when you orgasm… But I don’t want it to hurt because of overstimulation… And… I… I want to come because… because you came first… And... Mmm, Nigel… Nigel, please.” 

Adam's words alone could have made him moan, even if he weren't so close to his orgasm. The way Adam moved, pushed into him, rubbed against his prostate, rubbed against his cock, breathed against his neck, the way he spoke, his voice, the sound of his ragged breaths, the words Adam chose to use - everything was overwhelming him, but in the best possible way. 

Nigel closed his eyes and moaned loudly, arching his back, arching into Adam's body, clenching hard around his cock as he came in hot spurts between their bodies, nails burying into his back, fingers gripping and pulling his hair, Adam’s name on his lips, whispered in complete adoration as Nigel fell back on the bed, completely spent. 

Adam’s breathing hitched sharply as Nigel began to come, covering the both of them. Normally, the texture would’ve bothered him, and once his mind cleared, it would probably bother him again. But right then, with the clenching and relaxing of his muscles, massaging his length as he continued to thrust, it pushed him over the edge. Adam let out a choked cry as his orgasm took him over, unable to think, unable to breathe. 

He could see stars, galaxies dancing behind his eyes. He was floating somewhere between Nigel and the galaxies outside of their little blue earth, the two things he loved most in the world. He came hard, deep inside of Nigel, holding tight to him. He gave short, stuttery thrusts through his orgasm, trying his hardest to continue pleasing Nigel as he fell pliant beneath him, muscles going from tightly clenched to completely relaxed. 

As his orgasm subsided, leaving him spent and satisfied and happier than what he had ever been, he slowly pulled his softening erection from his hole and exhaled, collapsing over his Nigel, ignoring the mess. Once his mind and hormones settled down, once his mind gathered and he could think straight again, he’d start to feel so disgusted at the texture that he wouldn’t be able to take it anymore. He would have no choice but to scrub himself clean, and then scrub himself again, and maybe a few more times, until he could no longer feel the ghost of it on his skin. It was like that whenever he had a problem with textures. He couldn’t get the feeling away. But right then, lying on top of Nigel, excusing the mess… It was alright. It was all alright.

Nigel’s heavy, slow breathing fell in time with his own as Adam lay there, lying on top of him, head resting on his shoulder, finger drawing circles on his chest, through the sweat and cum, not caring about it in the slightest for once. 

“Thank you, Nigel… You made me feel so good…” He whispered. 

Nigel sighed softly, pressing one more kiss to Adam's neck before he turned them over, making Adam lie on his back. He knew the texture of his cum would start bothering Adam at some point, so he decided to take care of that first of all. He pressed kisses all the way down Adam's chest, down to his belly, before he started licking and sucking his cum from Adam's skin. 

“You're so fucking beautiful, Sparrow,” Nigel muttered, panting as he tasted himself on Adam's skin. “You're fucking perfect. You’re everything to me, baby, everything…” he wasn't even sure if Adam could still hear him, his voice was low and soft against his skin. He loved Adam, loved more than anything else in the world, more than his own life. Adam was his whole world, all he needed to be happy.

Slowly, he kissed his way up to Adam's chest again, then to his neck, and held Adam tightly in his arms. “I love you, Sparrow,” he said quietly, reassuring Adam that he truly loved him, that it wasn’t just something that he’d said in the heat of the moment. He didn't expect Adam to say it back, but it was fine because he knew how his sparrow felt. “Love you so fucking much.”

He had closed his eyes as Nigel’s tongue worked down his body, licking and sucking his own semen away. Nigel knew him so well, so much better than anyone else had ever known him, understood him in a way that no one had. Nigel knew all about how he couldn't take certain textures, and knew how to fix it without needing to be told. Nigel had always been so good to him. He had waited until he was ready for sex, bent and worked to fit into Adam’s rigid routine, even bottomed for him, something Adam had never pictured him doing. 

He sunk beneath Nigel’s touch, suddenly feeling boneless, like he might turn to nothing but water any moment. Of course, that was impossible, but the room dipping and swaying around him, mind clouded with hormones and endorphins, fingers running slowly through Nigel’s hair, Nigel’s arms wrapping so tightly around him...

_Love._

He’d said that word 4 times. It was extremely common for people to make confessions of love post-coitus; almost as common as it was to say it mid-coitus. But right then, he knew that it didn't matter, and Nigel would’ve said it anyways. He knew that Nigel loved him. 

“I… I love you too, Nigel.” He whispered, curling into him. 

Nigel smiled, holding Adam impossibly tight, legs tangled with his, and he buried his nose in Adam's hair to breathe him in. Slowly, he ran his hand up and down Adam's back, tracing the line of his spine. Soon they would have to get up, take a shower and prepare something to eat, but for now, Nigel was happy just to stay in bed like that, holding the love of his life in his arms. 

“My Sparrow,” Nigel whispered into his hair, closing his eyes and sighing. “My perfect, beautiful, fucking amazing Sparrow.”

In the billions and billions of years that this universe had existed, in the infinite number of galaxies, ever expanding and changing and growing, out of every star and planet and moon, out of the billions of people that had existed since the earth was formed, Adam Raki swore that there had never been a more perfect moment than what they had right then.


End file.
